• 1 lb ground turkey
• 1 large can stewed tomatoes
• 1 can kidney beans
• 1 onion, chopped up
• 3-4 cloves of garlic, chopped or pressed
• 3 tbsp chili powder
• 1-2 tbsp ground coriander/cilantro
• 1-2 tbsp cumin
• 2-3 tbsp oregano
• a beer or three (for you; preferably an ale)
• salt and pepper to taste
• red chili flakes (optional)
• grated cheddar cheese and/or sour cream (optional)

In a pot that will fit everything, coat the bottom with a thin layer of olive oil, then saute the onions on high heat, stirring until they’re somewhat tender, maybe even a little browned. Add the garlic, maybe some salt and pepper too, and stir it in and continue sauteing until the whole mixture is fragrant. I like a wooden spoon for all this, but whatever you’ve got around. Sometimes I add in some beer during this step, though I have no real reason to think it matters. I just like pouring in a little of the beer I’m drinking. For the dead turkeys.

Add in the ground turkey meat, chopping and mixing up with the spoon and stirring in with the onion/garlic goodness. Stir regularly until white and kinda cooked, but still with bits of pink so that it’s not quite something you’d feel comfortable eating. Add in the cans of kidney beans and tomatoes. Stir it all up into a big soupiness.

Now add in the chili powder. Then the herbs. Stir around, letting it come back to a low boil. Turn down the heat and simmer for a while until you’re confident all the salmonella nasties are dead. Taste it. Something is missing! Add a little bit of whatever it needs most. It probably needs some salt and pepper. Maybe a pinch or two of chili flakes. It definitely needs more chili powder, and probably a smidge of cumin. Put in a little at a time, but don’t be scared. Trust your taste and smell. You’ll figure it out, and if I told you exactly what to do, you wouldn’t have quite the sense of accomplishment afterward.

When it tastes good, leave it simmering without too much stirring. Some of the liquid will boil off, and if you did it all right a nice thin filmy coating will form at the top. That’s the special chili way of sealing in the yumminess.

At some point it will all be a nice even, rich deep red-brown color, and you and your companions will be achingly hungry. This is when you should eat. I like some grated cheese on top. Crackers can be nice too, especially if you’re eating it for lunch. Some people like sour cream, especially if it’s spicy. If you don’t manage to eat all of it, let it cool a bit then store it in the fridge. It heats up really well in the microwave or on the stovetop.

Eat it with a nice beer, maybe watch some TV or a movie, read the paper, look at Facebook, whatever. It doesn’t actually matter what you do, because you’re so stoked on how awesome your freakin’ chili turned out. Nice work.